Get Ready For The Practical Exam
by netgirly2k
Summary: That was the dinosaurs. Anybody fancy a trip to see some saber-toothed tigers?


Clyde Langer and Rani Chandra were wandering the streets of Ealing looking for alien invasions to avert. The reason for this was that their GCSE results were coming out tomorrow, and anything was better than sitting in with worried parents.

"Nope, nothing," said Clyde, declaring a clump of rhododendron bushes free of alien influence.

"Maybe Sarah Jane took all the aliens to America with her?" suggested Rani. Sarah Jane and Luke were visiting Maria and her dad in Washington for the school holidays.

"We should go round to Sarah Jane's," said Clyde. "Water the plants, feed the alien supercomputer, ask about--"

Clyde's suggestion that they should alleviate their boredom by breaking into Sarah Jane's house was interrupted by the wheezing sound of an arthritic time machine attempting to land.

The blue box materialised on the road just ahead of then, the door was flung open and there was the Doctor. "Clyde Langer! Rani Chandra! Fancy meeting you two here on this street where I knew you'd be, and where I've materialised for no real reason."

"Sarah Jane's in America, Doctor," Rani informed him.

"I know, I know," the Doctor grinned conspiratorially at them. "I checked. And I thought, what with my good pal Sarah Jane being all the way on the other side of the world, and you two doing so well on your exams-" the Doctor produced two battered envelopes from the inside pocket of his suit "-that we could go on a quick trip. Call it a reward for all your hard work."

Clyde and Rani exchanged a look, grinned at each other and pushed past the Doctor into the TARDIS.

* * *

"Hey!" said Rani, once the Doctor had handed over her exam results, "Someone's opened this already."

"And _someone_," Clyde added, "has steamed mine open with a kettle, and then tried to glue the envelope shut."

"The Royal Mail must've been taken over by aliens," the Doctor said, innocently. "I'll look into it."

Where are we going, Doctor?" Rani asked.

"Well, last time I was here someone mentioned wanting to see the dinosaurs."

"Seriously?" asked Clyde.

"Seriously seriously. Dinosaurs, here we come!" And with that, the Doctor slammed down a lever that sent Clyde and Rani tumbling to the ground.

"You could have said that was going to happen," Clyde grumbled from where his face was smushed into the floor grating.

* * *

Clyde wasn't clinging to Rani in terror, he was letting Rani cling to him in terror; which was completely different.

And anyway, if there was ever a time for terrified clinging it was when you were being _sniffed_ by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"Don't worry," he whispered to Rani. "I know what to do."

"Yeah?"

"We've just got to keep perfectly still, I saw it on Jurassic Park."

Rani had _thoughts_ on the wisdom of that survival strategy, but she was too busy keeping perfectly still to share them.

"Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!"

The scream came from a blur of pinstripes and hair dashing across the landscape. Two little Raptor-like things were nipping at the Doctor's heels.

The T-Rex turned to lumber after them, and Clyde grabbed Rani's hand and legged it in the direction of the TARDIS. He hoped that the Doctor realised he was running in the wrong direction before Clyde felt obligated to go and save him.

* * *

"So," said the Doctor, looking mournfully at his ripped overcoat. "That was the dinosaurs. Anybody fancy a trip to see some saber-toothed tigers?"

* * *

"Where are we this time?" Clyde asked, trying to remind himself that he was far too cool and suave to actually bounce with excitement. "Past? Future? The ice age? It's not the ice age, is it?"

"Open the door and find out," the Doctor suggested.

Clyde gingerly pulled open the TARDIS door and found himself looking out at--

"Sarah Jane's attic?"

The Doctor gave him a shove in the small of the back, pushing him out the door. "We'll be back in five minutes. Remember to feed the dog."

"Hey!"

* * *

"Hey!" cried Rani. "You can't just leave Clyde behind like that." She crossed her arms over her chest. "If Clyde's not coming, I don't want to go either."

She almost meant it, too.

"Don't be silly, Rani. We're not leaving Clyde behind, we're just going to see the Shadow Proclamation. I can't take you two anywhere really interesting with him confined to the Earth."

"Oh, and while I've got you on your own," said the Doctor with a glare, which wasn't nearly as scary as he thought it was. "No pets on the TARDIS."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Rani.

The Nemicolopterus, which Rani had saved from the T-Rex, chose that moment to pop its tiny, reptilian head out of her jacket pocket.

* * *

"No. Flo. Bo. To. Ro. No."

"What did you say to them?" asked Rani, her hands in the air.

"I simply told them that I'm the Doctor, a Lord of Time, and I'm ordering them to purge Clyde Langer's criminal record."

"Flo. To. Ko. No. Mo," said the Judoon.

"I'll take that as a no, then."

The Judoon aimed their weapons.

"A very definite no."

* * *

"Right," said the Doctor as he opened the door to let Clyde back on board. "If anyone asks, you're a stowaway. I didn't even know you were here."

"Right you are, boss," said Clyde with a sarcastic salute.

* * *

"Cat nuns, you said, totally harmless, you said."

"Mostly harmless, I said they were mostly harmless," the Doctor corrected Clyde. "The sonic screwdriver is in my coat pocket whenever you want to let me out."

Clyde fished out the screwdriver and used it to untie the Doctor from the altar. "We're far too young to be exposed to alien nun bondage, you know."

The Doctor straightened up, scowling, and snatched his screwdriver back. Even the Nemicolopterus, which was peeking out from behind Rani's ponytail, was smirking.

* * *

"Whoa," Clyde cried as the Doctor jerked him backwards by the collar.

It wasn't fair. A couple more inches and he'd have managed to edge his way into the photograph of the moon landing.

* * *

Clyde stepped out of the TARDIS, blinked in the sunlight and was knocked to the ground by something colliding with him at speed. It turned out to be Luke Smith.

"Clyde! What are you doing in America?"

"I--" Clyde gestured vaguely towards the TARDIS.

"Clyde!" That was Maria, who pulled him into a hug. "There are these aliens, the Waseen, and the mother escaped and she's trying to lay her eggs in the president's brain. And dad and Sarah Jane have gotten themselves arrested by White House security."

Clyde let himself be pulled along in the direction of the White House. He turned to see the Doctor framed in the TARDIS doorway, giving him a casual salute.

Clyde grinned. "Rani, come on!"

* * *

Inside the TARDIS, Rani asked, "Is this it?"

"Yeah. For the moment. Pass some more exams, then we'll see." He nodded at the door. "Off you go, off with your mates. Save the world."

"Rani, come on!" came Clyde's voice from outside.

Rani was nearly out the door when the Doctor cleared his throat. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh, uh, yeah."

Guiltily, Rani retrieved the Nemicolopterus from her jacket pocket and handed it to the Doctor. The miniature winged dinosaur immediately scampered up his arm to sit on his shoulder.

"Find her a good home, yeah?"

Rani gave the Doctor a final, brief, hug and dashed off to save the world.

The Doctor twisted his neck to look at the tiny dinosaur perched on his shoulder. "Right, Sarah Jane, apparently I've to find you a good home."


End file.
